Alone, Yet Not So Alone
by teakigirl
Summary: Being alone in the Titans tower on Valentine's night sets Beast Boy thinking about many things that had happened in his life but somehow he is not so alone...pairing to be revealed in chapter 2, please R&R :Þ
1. Fright of the Night

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.

A/N : This story happens before the story Nightmare so please read Nightmare after finishing this one. This is a one scene story but not a one-shot, but maybe only with a few chapters. It is my first time writing in the character's POV so I hope I did an okay job, haha.

This is what I promised you of, **fluffy pink bunny**. Now let's start with the story.

* * *

(BB's POV) 

I sat down on the sofa and looked over to the city. The city was beautifully lit for this time of the year. It was Valentine's Day. There were couples all over the city and love is in the air. But I was alone. Yes, alone in the tower and it was very boring.

Why was I alone? Simple, because the others were out. Not out to fight crimes, but to date. Robin and Starfire were of course dating(Robin claimed that they were just going out together because he wanted Starfire to get used to Earth's customs). Even though both of them don't speak much of their so called unusual "friendship", they show it too often. The twinkle in Starfire's eyes when she looks at Robin and the gentleness in Robin's voice when he called out her name. It sends shiver down my spine, yet it makes me green with envy. I laugh at that thought

'I am green, with or without envy.' I told myself, looking down at my ungloved hands. Maybe that is why I don't get girls. Girls don't like green guys do they? Who would want to choose a green boyfriend when there are normal ones out there?

Luckily on one is at home, or else they would tease me if they knew I stayed home alone on this special occasion, especially Cyborg. I had boasted to him, telling him I had a hot date tonight.

* * *

(3 hours ago) 

"Yo BB who is the unlucky girl that is going out with you tonight?" Cyborg teased.

"You are just jealous that I have a hot date and you haven't."

"Oh yeah, who is that hot babe you are dating?"

"Her name is Rindy, we met online and she is dating me tonight." I came up with a stupid lie, not wanting to admit no one wants me.

"Oh really? Bet you didn't send her your photo did you?"

"Unlike you, all girls adore me. I guess you will be alone tonight won't you?"

"Wrong BB. The girl I am dating is the hottest chick around. I am going to have the best Valentine's one could ever have."

"Tell me Cy, who is the mysterious girl you have been dating?"

"It is a secret, both of us wish to keep it a low profile."

"Maybe you just made it all up, why would girls wanna hang out with you?"

"Because unlike you, I am matured and I have a strong build." Cyborg replied, flexing his arms.

* * *

I looked at my arms and then my body. My arms are skinny and my body looks flat, but I guess I am different now. My shoulders are broader and I am taller now. That is why puberty is great, it makes me feel more like a man. Even though my body does not have bulging muscles, the muscles in my body are now firmer and well-toned. Guess working out in the gym with Robin does help. I don't know why I had the sudden urge to work out. Like Raven said, I do not need to train to get stronger, I just have to morph. 

Raven. She was out but I wasn't sure if she has got a date. She told us that she would be going to her favourite café to listen to people recite poetry. Not that I doubt that guys would like her, but she is always so self-restrained and doesn't like others to get near her. I have to admit that she has beautiful legs and I doubt any guys would ever miss that. She has such a beautiful body, with breasts and hips so perfect, accompanied by a tiny waist. Her uniform accentuates her curves, making her look so hot and sexy.

I shook my head to clear these thoughts. How can I see Raven in this way? She is just a team mate, nothing more except for a good friend. It must have been the animal instincts inside me.

I took out the DVD which I just rented, Fright of the Night. I played it and watched, hiding behind a cushion occasionally. It was about a girl who was raped and then brutally murdered by her boyfriend in the graveyard. Some men have claimed that they saw a girl in white singing in the graveyard and her voice was beautiful. Women have claimed that their husbands seemed to be in a trance when they passed the graveyard at night.

Men that have been found dead in the graveyard suffer from unnatural death. Priests and monks say that the spirit lures men to her and drains their blood before sucking out their souls. The spirit cannot be gotten rid of because the betrayal of her boyfriend causes her hatred for men to be very strong, making her powerful.

Finally it ended. I lay down on the sofa after switching off the tv. The movie had a bad plot, but the effects were horrifying and it was even better than Wicked Scary. I closed my eyes and thought of the haunted house Raven created after we watched Wicked Scary. It was the scariest experience I ever had, except for the first time I went into Raven's magic mirror. The look on Raven's face was so funny when she was scared, it looked cute.

I always love to see her feel, which is why I like to tell her silly jokes. When she feels, it makes her so human, even when she is angry. The way her eyes glowed with a tint of red and the way her lips were pressed tightly together. The way she taps her foot and places her hand on her hips, waiting patiently for an apology. And especially the way her chest heaves up and down when she is fuming.

'How can I be so perverted?' I slapped myself on the forehead. Why am I always thinking about Raven? Can't I just get her off my mind? I tried to think about other things but the only other thing that came to my mind was Terra. She betrayed us and nearly killed us, but in the end she saved the city and sacrificed herself.

Sometimes I wonder if the reason she came back to our side was because she felt guilty to us or was it because she didn't want to be alone. Is it really for us, or is it for herself? I was sure I loved her, but did she really love me? If she really did, why did she betray me? She did not change her mind even when I begged her, but why do I still love her and why can't I just forget her?

My pointed ears twitched as they picked up sounds. Someone was singing, it was a girl and her voice is beautiful. I opened my eyes and sat up to find out who it was. I froze when I saw her in the kitchen. She was wearing a white robe and seemed to be looking for something. I could not see her face because I turned off all the lights to create the spooky atmosphere for the movie.

Who could it be? No one is at home and no outsiders would get through the security systems easily without my notice. Even if someone really did, no burglar would wear a white robe to steal something from the kitchen. I thought for a moment and found the answer.

'It is the spirit from the movie.' I told myself and tried to run, but she kept on singing and her voice drew me towards her. I wanted to know who she is and I wanted badly to have a look at her face. I felt my legs starting to move my body towards the kitchen as my curiosity took over.

'This must be the trance the spirit puts men under.' I continued walking to the kitchen but I tripped over the gamestation controller's wire and fell face down onto the floor.

'Now I am going to die.' I thought desperately and closed my eyes tightly, waiting for her to drain my blood and suck my soul out. Shivers surged through my body as her cold hand clamped onto my right shoulder…

* * *

A/N: A stupid cliffy…hope you guys like this chapter, I know it is quite short but I still enjoyed writing it. PersonallyI don't think this chapter is very good, yeah it sucks. 

Luv all of ya,

teakigirl :Þ


	2. Memories

Disclaimer: It's what I always say, the Teen Titans does not belong to me.

**

* * *

Firenze2000 :** thank you for your review. I thought I did a bad job cos as I said it's the first time I wrote it in the character's POV, so I wondered if readers would like it. Thank you, I appreciate it :) , so it was okay? 

**anime-punkass-luvr : **Thank you for your review and for liking the chapter (oh I want to cry, just moved to tears). Well you wanted the next chapter so here is the next one :Þ

**beautifulpurpleflame:** I am here with my update, thank you for your attention and your review.

**deadinside72:** Read to find out the pairing but I think you would like it (wink wink). Thank you for your review.

**Frosty Pickle Juice:** Maybe I should put it as humor/romance since you find it funny. Glad you like it and thank you for your review.

**pimpofthetitans:** Glad you like my fics, thank you for being my fan. This chapter is longer, by a few hundred words haha. Thank you for your review, hope you'll like this chapter too :)

**fluffy pink bunny:** I'm flattered too, thank you for your compliment. Glad you liked it and thank you for always reading and reviewing for fics.

**Satu-D-2:** Thank you for your review. Read to find out the pairing but I think you would most probably like it (wink wink).

* * *

**A/N: I am shocked and very elated to receive so many reviews for a single chapter, thank you to everyone out there who read and especially to those who reviewed. Sorry to have kept you guys waiting, here's the next chapter of the story. Due to many requests, I decided the pairing to be what all of ya want, read to find out who? Enjoy and please leave a review if you can. Thankies.**

* * *

Last chapter… 

'_Now I am going to die.' I thought desperately and closed my eyes tightly, waiting for her to drain my blood and suck my soul out. Shivers surged through my body as her cold hand clamped onto my right shoulder…_

(BB's POV)

I prayed hard, hoping she would not kill me. I trembled as I felt her hot breath on my neck.

"Beast Boy." she called out.

'Oh no she knows my name and she is so going to skin me alive.' I knocked forcefully into her so that she fell onto the floor. I went over to look at her face. But she wasn't she, it was…

"Raven?" I asked when I stretched my hand out to help her up.

* * *

A/N: Yup, I have decided on a BBXRae pairing, hope you guys will like it and sorry to have interrupted the story. I shall take my leave now. (hides behind the curtains)

* * *

"Thanks a million Beast Boy. Is this how you treat someone who is concerned whether you were hurt or not?" Raven said sarcastically when she took my hand. 

"I thought you were…I didn't know…I thought it was, hey why are you home?" I stuttered, trying to hide my fear.

(Raven's POV)

Why does he look so scared to me and why is he so nervous? Am I that hard to be with?

"I am not feeling well so I did not go to the café." I replied flatly.

"Really? Are you feeling okay?"

"I am…" I spoke up but stopped when Beast Boy placed a hand on my forehead. I could feel my cheeks getting warmer when the warmth of his hand sent a tingling sensation down my body.

(BB's POV)

Is she really okay? Why is her body so cold and why does she seem so weak and pale?

"Raven, are you sick? Do you need me to take you to a doctor?" I asked frantically, afraid that she was bottling things up again.

"I didn't say I was sick, I said I am feeling unwell."

"Can't you tell me? Maybe I can help." I was getting tired at this whole mystery thingy.

(Raven's POV)

Why is he so insistent, can't he tell I don't wish to say it?

"Well, it's…" I shifted uneasily, my face growing hotter. "a girl's thing."

"What is it? Can't boys know about it?" he asked, his emerald eyes staring at me with great curiosity.

"You know, it's…" How can he possibly expect me to tell him? Why is he so stupid and insensitive at times? "the time of the month."

(BB's POV)

"Er so are having your…" I could feel my cheeks getting hot, "period?" Raven nodded and glared at me. She winced and clutched her abdomen suddenly.

"Cramps?" I asked as I supported her body. She nodded. I was utterly shocked by what I did next. I carried her bridal style and walked towards the sofa, risking the possibility of getting killed.

(Raven's POV)

What is he doing? I didn't say he could touch me, what if he triggered my powers?

'Yay Raven!' Happy started jumping around in my head. 'Go Beast Boy, go Beast Boy…" she chanted and began Beast Boy's victory dance.

"Wait here for me, I'll go get something." He said after putting me down on the sofa and ran up the stairs.

What is he up to and why did I let him? Maybe I should just go back to my room and meditate. I could feel my emotions threatening to escape. I tried to stand up but Beast Boy gently pushed my body down.

"Lie still Raven, don't move." He said softly, placing a water bag on the lower part of my stomach. He took my hand and placed it on the water bag. "I've filled it with warm water. Hold it there and you will feel better." Beast Boy said with a smile before covering me with a blanket. The pain subsided as the warmth from the water bag reached my stomach.

"Thank you Beast Boy." I said gratefully but blushed when my stomach growled.

"You hungry? I'll go get something for you." Beast Boy stood up and starting to walk away.

(BB's POV)

No wonder her body is so weak, she didn't eat anything at all. I blushed when she grabbed my hand.

"I'm not hungry, can you get me some painkillers instead?" her stomach gave another growl, not agreeing with that statement. "I mean I have no appetite."

"I'll be right back, you will like it." I assured her with a big smile. I couldn't help it but to give her hand a gentle squeeze, it is so soft.

She looks so cute when she blushes, but why isn't anything blowing up? Maybe she can feel but just doesn't want to. I would still like it to stay like this though.

(Raven's POV)

I held up the blanket to my nose and smelled. Animal smell plus tofu smell, definitely Beast Boy's blanket alright. I closed my eyes and took in his scent. It smelled so nice, so comfortable and soothing.

'No wonder I am part of you.' Rude interrupted, 'Smelling people's dirty blanket is just as disgusting and unrefined.'

'It's because Raven loves Beast Boy, right Rae? Raven and Beast Boy sitting on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Happy began clapping and jumping around.

'Happy is right Raven, you should be brave and face it. All of us know you like Beast Boy. Come on, be brave and admit it, confess your love.' Brave encouraged and drew a big heart in the air with her index fingers.

'We shouldn't. Beast Boy doesn't like us and will hurt us like Malchior did. We shouldn't be feeling at all. What if we like to feel and can't stop feeling? It will only hurt others.' Timid argued, trying to sound strong.

'I would like to remind you of something Raven. When you are weak, your powers would also be weakened. Meaning even if you lose control over your powers, the degree of damage would be greatly reduced.' Knowledge said dryly, adjusting her glasses.

'Meaning you should take this chance to feel. Opportunities do not come easy you know, once you let it slip, it might be gone forever.' Brave gave me a wink. 'Don't worry, we've got you all covered.' She turned to Happy, who caught Timid and covered her mouth with one hand.

'Yeah, in Beast Boy's smelly blanket.' Rude said with a burp.

I was pulled away from my emotions when I smelled something sweet. Beast Boy walked towards me with a mug of steaming drink and I could feel my mouth water. He put the mug down on the coffee table and came to help me up. I tried to sit up on my own but Beast Boy insisted on helping me.

"Now now Raven, you are the patient here so don't try to move around so much okay?" he gave me an angry look and crossed his arms. I gave him a weak smile, grateful at his gesture.

(BB's POV)

She smiled! I blinked a few times, not believing what I saw. Raven smiled! I got out of my daze when her stomach protested again.

"Oh, hot chocolate." I grinned as I passed her the mug. "You will feel better after drinking it." Raven wrapped both hands onto the mug and brought it to her lips. "Be careful, it's hot." She nodded and blew at the surface of the liquid before taking a sip.

"Thank you Beast Boy, it's good." She said after taking a few sips.

"Glad you like it." I said happily and sat down beside her.

(Raven's POV)

"You feeling better?" he asked after I finished the drink. I nodded. It really felt much better when the warm liquid reached my growling stomach, making the pain go away.

Why is he always so nice to me? It makes me feel so guilty for mistreating him. Why do I always have to be so mean to him and why can't he just leave me alone like the others, why?

'First answer, because there is a high possibility that he likes you. Second answer, because he loves you and you are afraid you would fall in love with him.' Happy replied and started singing. (L-O-V-E I love you and you love me)

'I won't fall in love with him, I don't feel love.' I shot back at the pink emotion.

'Of course you feel love Raven, or else I wouldn't be here.' Affection said in a gentle voice.

"Raven, may I ask you a question?" Beast Boy asked after placing my mug on the coffee table.

"Of course." I was taken aback by his sudden politeness.

"Why are you wearing a white robe?" he asked, eyeing my unusual attire.

"My leotard is quite tight-fitting so I got myself some loose clothes to wear. It will be more comfortable in this way on the outside since the inside of me is already so uncomfortable. Why do you ask?"

(BB's POV)

"I was frightened when I saw you, I thought you were a ghost."

"Sorry I scared you." She turned and looked down at the floor.

Why am I so insensitive? Did I hurt her with my words? Why am I just so stupid?

"No it's not that Raven, I don't mean you are creepy. I watched a horror movie just now and I thought you were the dead girl's spirit." I scratched my head and tried to think of something to say. "You know…the spirit uses her voice to lure her prey so when I heard a beautiful voice, I thought you were her."

"You heard me sing?" She gave me a surprised expression and then blushed.

(Raven's POV)

Oh Azar he heard me sing, it must have been horrible.

'Ask him how he thinks about your voice.' Brave shouted.

"Yeah and your voice is beautiful Raven. I didn't know you could sing so well before."

"Really, you think it is nice?" I blushed and eyed him hopefully.

"Really. What is the title of the song? I've never heard it before."

'BB likes your singing, he loves your singing.' Happy, Brave and Affection jumped around an uninterested Rude and chanted.

(BB's POV)

"It's a song Azar would sing to me when I was a child. It would always calm me down." I caught a tinge of sadness in her eyes.

"Are you very close to her?"

"Only Azar is willing to talk to me, the others despise me and always avoid me. Without Azar, I would not have even been borne."

'She is feeling sad, go console her. Hug her, talk to her, do anything that will make her happy.' A voice in my head shouted.

(Raven's POV)

Why am I telling him all these? No, I can't continue, I can't let my emotions out. I've got to meditate now.

I wanted to pull my hood up but I forgot I wasn't wearing my cloak.

"Raven, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought up your sad memories." He scratched his head. "You know I'm so stupid and insensitive. I'm always hurting your feelings."

"It's not your fault. Father is right, I am evil. I will only bring destruction no matter where I go. I…I just hate myself, why should I be even born in the first place." I felt tears rolling down my cheeks and quickly wiped them away with the back of my hand.

(BB's POV)

I lifted her chin and felt something squeezed my heart when I saw her tearing violet eyes.

"Raven…" My vision blurred as tears welled up in my eyes. Why does it hurt so much to see her cry?

'Because you want to protect her and because you love her. Hug her you stupid. If you can't protect her, I'll protect her.' The beast growled.

I did as the beast instructed and wrapped my arms around her. I could feel the shock radiating off her when I pulled her close, but I was glad that she did not try to struggle out of my arms.

"Beast Boy, I'm sorry but I have to go. I have to meditate, my emotions are escaping." Raven tried to get up when her mug was encased in black.

"No Raven, I'm not letting you go this time." I hugged her tightly and pulled her into my lap.

"Please Beast Boy, I don't have time to fool around with you. Let me go!" She shouted angrily and pushed me away.

'Don't let her go, never let go! Do you want her to suffer alone?' the beast bellowed and threatened to take over. I quickly tightened my grip and pulled her close to me.

"Beast Boy stop playing. Don't make me hurt you, let me go!" She yelled and struggled violently.

"I'm not going to let go of you. I'm dead serious, even if you hurt me, I won't let go!" I shouted at her squirming form before her mug shattered in the air…

* * *

Next chapter: will Raven run away? (I don't know but I hope she doesn't haha) would this relationship progress? Muahaha find out in the next chappie ) 

**Click on the lilac box with a GO on it to submit your review (if you want to that is) I love all of you out there** **:Þ**


	3. In Her Heart

Disclaimer: I do not by any chance own the Teen Titans.

**Agent of the Divine One :** I like your saying, so sweet and beautiful. Oh love is just so warm and nice :) thank you for your review.

**Frosty Pickle Juice : **it's fun talking with your inner selves haha, hope you like this chapter too :D thank you for reviewing.

**fluffy pink bunny :** wellll whether Raven is going to run away or not you have to find it out yourself in this chapter :) thank you for constantly reviewing both of my stories in almost every chapter, I love ya too :D

**icaughtfire12 :** I also like lovey dovey stuff (squeals) you'll know if Raven has ran away, read to find out :) thanks a ton for reviewing :D

A/N: sorry for the long wait and stuff. I would like to dedicate this chapter to **Agent of the Divine One **for constantly paying attention to both my fics and of course for always reviewing. Thanks so much :)

Okay now let's get on with the story, enjoy and plz R&R :)

* * *

(BB's POV) 

Raven gasped and thrashed her limbs around.

"Please, I really have to go. Let go!" she yelled and glared at me.

"No, I don't want you to run away every time you lose control of your powers!"

"I'm not running away, I'm going to fight my emotions so they don't escape again!"

"Then let me help you. Tell me what's bothering you and perhaps I can help."

"You can't do anything to help. It's my life and I have spent the whole of my life like that. None of you will be able to help me!"

"But at least let me share your burden, I don't want you to suffer alone and I am not going to let you go!" I shouted and pulled her head into my chest.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos…" she chanted with her eyes closed, trying to calm her emotions down.

"Enough! Stop meditating! Stop suppressing yourself! You are just hurting yourself, stop it!"

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos…" she continued chanting and covered her ears with her hands.

"I said stop it do you hear me?" I yelled at her and removed her hands from her ears but she still kept on chanting. "Raven please, I'm begging you. You have always been so strong, please just let yourself be weak for once okay?"

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metri…" she stopped chanting and looked as if she was asking me for permission before breaking down, sobbing into my chest. "Beast Boy…" I wrapped my arms around her and let her cry.

"Cry Raven. Of all people, you deserve to cry most."

"Beast Boy…why do I have to be this way…why do I have to be a demon…why can't I feel? Why?"

I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks when I felt her pain. It must be hard for Raven to bear all this pain.

"I know asking these questions are stupid. I already know the answers but why does it always hurt to think about them?" I stroked her head with one hand, hoping it would comfort her. "When I was young, I didn't know why. I didn't know why I have to be kept away from mother. I didn't know why I have to meditate everyday and why I can't go out to play like other children could. Azar told me the reason is because I am special and I am different from other children. But only until I grew older then I knew the answer." She raised her head when I covered us in my blanket. I nodded, motioning for her to go on.

"Yes I am special and I am different, but it isn't in the good way. I am a demon, I am nothing but evil. I can only bring destruction and misery. Why was I borne in the first place? Why didn't Azar kill me when the Azarathians wanted to? Why did mother die so I could live? Why? My life isn't worth anything but why do people I love have to suffer?"

"Who says your life isn't worth anything? It means everything to me and the others. Seeing you so sad breaks my heart. How I wish I could do something to ease your pain."

"Beast Boy I'm sorry, please don't cry. I want you to be happy, not sad." Raven wiped away my tears with her hand and looked away. "I shouldn't have told you all these, I shouldn't have made you so sad."

"I want to share your pain, I don't want you to be alone. I don't even want you to feel alone."

"Why do you always care for me? Why can't you leave me alone like the others?" she raised her voice at me.

"Because to me you are more than just a friend. You are always there for me when I need you so I hope I can be of some assistance when you need me. And I know you don't wish to be alone do you? You wish someone would be there for you right?"

"You can just ignore me, I'm complicated. Just say I am not meant to be understood or anything. I will only hurt you whenever you try to get close to me."

"I don't believe you are not meant to be understood and so what if you are complicated? Everyone can be complicated, but if one doesn't even try, he will never understand. I wish to understand your problems and help you deal with them if my abilities allow me to do so."

"I don't even understand myself. I'm just fighting a losing battle and you can't help me." She shook her head.

"But at least I am there to share your burden and I can cheer you up." I gave her a big grin, which was returned by a soft smile.

"Can't you just stop cracking jokes to make me laugh?"

"I can't." I shook my head and gave her a sad look before breaking into a laugh. "Because making you happy is my life-long mission." Raven did not smile, instead she frowned.

"I am not supposed to feel. What if the tower gets destroyed? What if the city gets destroyed? What if I hurt you? What if…"

"You worry too much." I patted her head. "Even if you hurt me, I won't blame you."

"But what if…what if I killed you?" Tears welled up once again in her eyes. "I will be guilty for the rest of my life."

"If you can feel after killing me, maybe I won't blame you. Being able to feel is your greatest dream, if my life can be exchangeable for your dream to be fulfilled, I won't mind."

"No I'm not worthy of that. If being able to feel meant in the expense of my friends lives, I rather not feel. I rather be a heartless demon, I rather…" she paused and sobbed. "Why can't you just hate me?"

"Silly girl, how can I possibly hate you?" I stroked her head gently. "You are my best friend on the team. Why do you want me to hate you?"

"If all of you can just hate me, I can leave the team without any worries."

"What! You want to leave us?" I cried in shock.

"I don't want to hurt anyone of you. What if my powers really go out of control? What if I destroyed the Earth?" I saw her chew on her bottom lip. "I wish all these would just end, I just wish I have enough courage to leave this world forever."

I hugged her tightly and was so angry with her. How can she have such thoughts? Why does she not treasure herself?

"No such thoughts okay, no suicidal thoughts." I tucked errant strands of violet hair behind her ear. "If you died, do you know how hurt we will be?"

"It would be a blessing to the world if I died. The world does not need to live in fear and I don't have to be afraid of hurting others anymore."

"You won't hurt us. Look around you, even if you let yourself feel, you will not hurt the people around you." She raised her head timidly and looked around. "See, there is no damage done except the mug which exploded."

"It's because my body is weak now. If I recover full strength, my powers would be destructive. It might even hurt you or destroy everything in the tower."

"You won't hurt anyone, you will only break things. We can replace the things with new ones," I raised my hand to caress her cheek and locked my eyes into hers, "but seeing you feel, it's priceless." She froze and looked into my eyes.

The moonlight illuminated her face, adding a glow to her pale skin. She is so beautiful; her delicate features and especially her eyes, they are the most beautiful thing in the world. Hidden behind the deep violet are the pain and fear in her heart but no matter how hard she tries to hide her feelings, her eyes would always give her away.

'Kiss her, now's a chance to show your love unless you expect her to take the initiative to do so.' The beast growled. I felt the skin beneath my palm grow warm as a tinge of red crept onto Raven's cheeks.

(Raven's POV)

'He is going to kiss you!" Happy squealed in delight.

'You are doing well Raven, just stay there and close your eyes.' Affection instructed.

'We must stop this! He doesn't love us and we…we do not love him.' Timid protested and cowered in fear when the other emotions glared at her.

'Don't stop it Raven. You love him and we all know it, including Timid. Just follow your heart and go on, give yourself a chance in love.' Brave cheered on.

'Being love is a beautiful thing you know.' Affection purred.

Oh no he is leaning closer and closer. Should I let him kiss me or push him away? My emotions (most of them) are screaming for me to let him kiss me and I know Affection is right, it feels good to be loved. I closed my eyes when our lips are a few centimeters apart.

It sent a shiver through my body when his lips came in contact with my skin, but our lips never met. Unexpectedly he kissed my eyes instead of my lips.

(BB's POV)

She opened her yes in shock and stared at me, surprised by my act. My mind fumbled for words to break the pregnant pause.

"Er…I love them, I… I mean your eyes…they are beautiful, yeah they are beautiful. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

"Oh…thank you." She gave a weak smile and shifted her gaze away from my eyes.

Why does she seem so disappointed? What did I do wrong this time? I complimented her so shouldn't she be happy? Why are girls so complicated and hard to satisfy?

'You didn't compliment her you silly. You said her eyes are beautiful, then what about her? You should compliment her, not her eyes you dumbo.' The smarter part of me said.

"Well, I mean…" I scratched my head. "Your eyes, they are beautiful…"

(Raven's POV)

Beast Boy scratched her head again. "They are beautiful," he tilted my face and looked into my eyes, "but you are the one who makes them so beautiful."

My cheeks grew warm again. Why is he so sweet? I just hate this type of silence, it's just so awkward. My heart started thumping and I felt a little giddy. Feeling so many emotions for a night is just too much for me to bear.

"Rae, you okay?" I nodded and laid my head on his shoulder.

(BB's POV)

"Thank you Beast Boy." She whispered and I saw tears rolling down her cheeks.

Oh my god, what did I do wrong again? Why is she crying again?

"I…I…I'm sorry." I raised my hand to scratch my head. "I hurt your feelings again didn't I?"

"Beast Boy, you don't have to be so nervous when you are with me." She said with a soft smile and raised her hand to move my hand away from my head. "No wonder you will be bald in the future." I smiled at her joke and she smiled too.

She looks so sweet when she smiles, such a bashful and blissful smile. Because Raven doesn't smile much, her smiles matter a lot to me. Her smile is something that is so true, something straight from her heart and something that I love.

"Is there anything on my face?" she asked and wiped her face with the back of her hand.

"I'm just happy that you are smiling." I took her small hand in mine and rocked us gently. "You don't mind do you?" she shook her head and blushed, looking away from my face.

"Rae."

"Hmm?"

"It's late, you better get some sleep."

"I don't want." She shot up and protested. "I mean I'm not tired yet, I…" she let out a yawn. "I'm not sleepy."

(Raven's POV)

It was a good night and I didn't want it to end so soon. I wanted it to last longer and just wanted to be in his arms where I feel safe and warm.

"You really are a bad liar Raven. Come on, you really need some sleep." I sighed in defeat when he shifted his hands to move the blanket. "There, you won't be cold in this way." He said with a smile and wrapped the blanket around the both of us.

"Beast Boy?" I questioned.

"You are my patient tonight so I must watch over you." He let my head rest on his chest. "It may be hard here but it's the softest part of me since you are lying on my heart." He joked and grinned when he saw me smile.

I snuggled close to him and let his rhythmic heartbeats coax me to sleep.

(BB's POV)

I can't believe it! Raven hasn't killed me for what I have done and now she is sleeping in my arms. I must be the luckiest guy in the world to have a date with the most beautiful girl around in Jump City on Valentine's Day. I placed my face on her silky hair and let her soft lavender scent drift me to my slumber land.

* * *

Next chapter: Raven and Beast Boy both have a nightmare each, how would the story end? 

A/N: there is still one more chapter cos I didn't want it to end in this way even though it is quite nice to end the story here… please review cos I would appreciate it :) I hope to hear from the readers whether my story is to their liking and how they felt about this story or this chapter.

I hope to have at least six reviews before my next update so I hope you guys can make it come true :) I admit I am a little bit disappointed with the number of reviews to chapter 2 cos it is less than half of the number I got for chapter 1. But I still hope you guys would continue reading my story :D

Next chapter is the last of this story but I would post a poem for chapter 5, hope you guys would read it. It is quite lousy cos it's my first poem haha. It's something that Beast Boy writes for Raven :)


	4. Love me, Love me Not

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.

A/N: Yay I got 6 reviews for chapter 3 :) Sorry for the OOC in this story, why do I always go out of line? Sigh I guess I must try harder to write BBXRae fics in character cos I find it quite hard. Thank you for your reviews and comments. This is the last chapter of this story but I've still got a poem for the next chapter, please R&R :)

* * *

(BB's POV) 

I was awoken by Raven's thrashing around. She was fidgeting non-stop and mumbling in her sleep.

"Don't…please…" she mumbled.

"Raven, you okay?"

"Don't hurt him…I'm sorry…"

"Rae, wake up!" I shook her body and shouted.

"Don't…no, please stop!" Her eyes shot open and she started panting.

"Is everything okay?" She shook her head and hugged me tightly.

"He…he was…he was…"

"Calm down, is it Trigon?" She nodded her head and tried to continue.

"He wanted to…to kill you, but…but I told him I…I won't try to feel again. I won't, I really won't." she shook her head violently.

"It's okay. Trigon's not here and he is gone for good. It's just a nightmare." I stroked her head when she sobbed into my chest.

She was just like a small child who had woken up from a nightmare and I was like her mother, calming her down. But I actually like it when she is weak because it somehow makes me feel needed and stronger. Nightmares of Trigon must have haunted her almost every night and I felt ashamed of myself to think that she always had to push down her fear or cry herself to sleep without anyone by her side to calm her down.

"Beast Boy, I'm…scared." She whispered in a shaky voice and looked at me.

"As long as we are here, we won't let him touch you okay?" She shook her head again.

"I…I don't want him to hurt you, I won't try to feel again." Her eyes were brimming with tears and innocence.

"Silly girl." I wiped away her tears. "To fight Trigon, you must show him you are nothing like him. You are human and he is not because you feel, he doesn't."

"I don't feel and I don't want to feel, I-"

"Really? You don't want to feel?" I looked into her eyes, seeking the truth.

"I…I-"

"Your eyes don't lie Raven. It tells me that being able to feel is the greatest dream of your life, isn't it?" She stared at me for a few seconds before turning away.

"Can…can we not talk about it anymore? I'm tired." She said softly and closed her eyes, leaning her head on my chest.

"I'm sorry I probed. Goodnight." I whispered back and covered her with my blanket before wrapping my arms around her.

(Raven's POV)

He is right, I want to feel. I want it so much that I'll do anything for it but not in exchange for my friends' safety. Why does he always make me feel? Why do I always want to feel when I'm around him? Why do I feel human and somehow wanted when I'm with him? Why does he always make me realize of my own existence and purpose? Why does he make me feel special? Why do I always wish to be around him? Why?

Why does it feel so safe in his arms? Why do I wish to talk to him when I am feeling sad? Why does it feel so comforting to cry in his arms? Why does it hurt to see him cry and why did it felt so painful when Terra broke his heart?

These questions are really confusing me and I don't know the answers. It is always Beast Boy, Beast Boy and Beast Boy on my mind. Why am I always thinking about him?

'Raven you got to face it. The answer is simple and you know it yourself.' Affection shouted.

'But I…I can't…I can't do it.'

'Just tell yourself you do.' She continued.

'I…I…' All my emotions kept quiet and waited for what I was going to say. 'I…I can't.' All of them sighed except Rage, who snarled.

'You can do it Raven.' Happy chanted and was soon joined by the other emotions.

'I…I love him, I love Beast Boy.' There was a series of applause and cheers when I finally found the courage to admit what I was avoiding. It felt good, it felt so good to get it off my chest.

Even though Beast Boy was not the best guy around, he sure knows how to make a girl feel special. He is always so caring and patient about people. What I hated and loved most is his perseverance. No matter how hard I hit him every time, he will just recover in a few days time and come up with another stupid joke to "cheer" me up. His concern is always so genuine and it is comforting to know that is someone who cares so much.

"Beast Boy…"

"You feeling uncomfortable?" Hs tone was full of worry and concern. I shook my head.

"I just wish to say, thank you so much for always being so nice to me."

"It's nothing, don't think much about it."

'Don't, please don't ever let go, don't ever let me go. I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be hurt again.' I thought desperately as I looked into his beautiful eyes.

(BB's POV)

Why is she looking at me in this way? Does she have anything to tell me? Is she feeling unwell and bottling things up again?

All these questions dispersed when she closed her eyes and snuggled close. I rocked her body gently and thought deeply.

Why does she suddenly seem so small and weak? Why does her every movement and every word she say matter so much to me? Why did I feel so angry when Malchior used her and toyed with her feelings? Why do I want to be with her when she is sad? Why do I always want to be around her? Why does it feel so happy to see her smile? Why do I always try so hard just to get her attention and impress her? Why do I always have the urge to kill when she is in danger? Why does the beast hurt anyone except her?

'You love her don't you?' That's why we fight to protect her, to ensure that she is safe.' The beast answered in a growl.

Do I really love her? I admit, to me she is really much more than just a good friend. Even though she does not seem to care much, she is the one I really need when I am sad. Raven really cares a lot. When Robin told all of them not to bother me after Terra's "death", she was the first one to approach me.

(Flashback)

"Beast Boy, it's Raven." She knocked on my door. "I just want to know if you are okay and ask if you need anything."

"Just go away, I don't even want to hear your voice." I hollered at her.

"I'm just concerned, I know you are still sad about Terra."

"You think you know everything? You can't even feel, you'll never know about affairs of heart! Why should you bother? You should be the happiest person on Earth now she is dead!"

"Fine, I won't bother you anymore!" She shouted and stormed down the corridors.

"Whatever, no one needs you anyway!" I yelled so loud tat I made sure she heard it.

I know I broke her heart. She was just concerned, why was I such jerk to say that to hurt her? I blamed her for the loss of Terra and I blamed her for nor liking Terra but why did I blame her? It wasn't her fault at all. Raven is one that doesn't trust someone easily but that's Raven for everyone. Since young, she was hurt again and again by people around her. I've learnt it the hard way because after Terra's betrayal, I found it harder to trust people. After one has been hurt so many times, he or she would be afraid to make friends with others due to the fear of being hurt once more.

Even though it was Starfire who sent my meals to me, I knew who prepared my meals for me when I found a strand of violet hair on my plate. Raven made the effort to cook for me even after the way I treated her. I knew that she sat outside my room for the whole afternoon during the days I locked myself in my room because she wanted to make sure I was going to be fine. She was the happiest one in the tower when I finally got out of my depression although she doesn't show her happiness and relief. But why did I hurt her with my words? Why did I yell at her and why did I call her creepy?

I looked at her relaxed features and smiled. It's good to see her relaxed and calm because it just makes me feel the same way. I caressed her cheek and touched her smooth skin. She is beautiful except that she has grey skin but I am in no place to mind her skin colour since I am green.

Actually Raven isn't much different from us. When I hurt her feelings, she would also feel sad. But unlike us she can't cry, she has to act as if nothing has happened and get on with life. She has to suppress, to lock up all the pain and keep it to herself. It must have hurt a lot to live a life like that, it's no wonder she has suicidal thoughts.

Should we let her go? Let her end her sufferings and leave forever? But…but I really don't want to, I really don't want to lose her. I just wish I don't have to let go, I want to protect her, to always keep her safe.

'I don't want to let go, I want you to be safe in my arms.' I thought to myself as I pulled her closer to me. She made soft sounds in her sleep and I thought it was so cute. I smiled at her small form before closing my eyes.

* * *

(Raven's POV) 

It feels so warm and comfortable but the sun's rays woke me up. I opened my eyes slowly, trying to adapt to the light intensity. Beast Boy was still asleep, with his arms around me. I smiled and raised my hand to touch his face. Unexpectedly, his skin was smooth and unblemished. I smiled when I saw that there was drool threatening to fall off his chin and quickly wiped it away with a facial tissue.

"Mmm…I love you too" he mumbled and smiled in his sleep.

'He must be dreaming.' I smiled at his innocence and caressed his cheek.

"Terra! No…don't hurt her…Terra I won't love her…please…Raven…" I felt as if something squeezed my heart. He was having a nightmare, his dream became a nightmare because of me. I got out of his arms and ran to my room as tears found their way out of my eyes.

* * *

(BB's POV) 

Raven and I were in the park. We are sitting on the field, side by side.

"Rae." I called her pet name and she turned to face me. "If I…I mean if you can only choose one emotion to feel, what would it be?"

"I…I, why do you ask?" she tried to look angry but couldn't hide her blush because her hood was down.

"I just want to know what I should give you to make you happy," I took her hand into mine, "because you are someone very important to me." I looked into violet eyes and she froze.

"I…the emotion that I want to feel most, it's…it's love." She answered and looked away but turned back to my face after a while. "Because I…I want to love you." She whispered and blushed. My heart skipped a bit when I heard what she said.

"Rae, I love you too." I moved close to her ear and whispered. I leaned closer to her face and soon saw her closing her eyes. I closed my eyes and moved my lips to hers.

"Slut! Witch!" A voice shouted, causing me to open my eyes (sigh, they didn't kiss). Terra rammed into Raven and pinned her down on the ground. The ground shook as she punched Raven and soon many rocks came flying over.

"Terra, no! Stop!" I shouted and scrambled to my feet.

"Beast Boy be careful!" I heard Raven shout and saw many rocks flying towards me. I waited for the blow but unexpectedly I wasn't hit. I was suddenly enclosed in a ball of black energy and it deflected all the rocks.

"Slut you can't love him, he's mine!" Terra yelled as she punched Raven in the face. Raven couldn't retaliate because she was using her powers to shield me.

"Raven fight back! Don't use your power to protect me!" I pounded hard on the shield but it just wouldn't budge. "Terra don't hurt her! You can do anything you want to me, she's innocent!"

"Why do you care so much about her? I'm the one you love. You can't love someone else Beast Boy, you belong to me!" Terra stood up and turned to face me, she was crying. "Witch, what magic did you use on him? He doesn't love you, he is mine!" She turned back at Raven and kicked her side.

"Raven, let the rocks hit me! Stop putting up this shield!" I shouted when Raven groaned in pain.

"Beast Boy stop caring about her, she's a witch, she's a demon! Why do you love her? In what way am I inferior to her?" Terra shouted and a rock crashed into Raven. "She is heartless!" A bigger rock slammed into Raven. "She's a monster!" Another rock came and Raven moaned in pain. "She says she loves you because she wants to win me, she wants to snatch you away from me! Don't believe her!" The shield vanished when another rock hit Raven and she lay in a pool of blood. I ran towards her and took her into my arms.

"Rae are you okay?" She opened her eyes and tried to nod. Tears fell from my eyes when I saw how badly injured she was.

"Beast Boy get away from her!" Terra yelled and tried to pull us apart but I pushed her to the ground.

"Terra I won't love her. Please stop hurting her, it's between the both of us." I hugged Raven tightly. "Raven…Raven she is innocent, don't hurt her."

"If you really love her so much," Terra let out an evil smile. "she will have to suffer!" Strong arms made of mud pulled me away.

"Terra please!" I pleaded and tried to struggle out of the grip but failed.

"If I don't get him, nobody ever does!" Terra's eyes glowed and a spear made of rocks formed above Raven. Terra smiled and the spear flew down towards the defenseless Raven.

"No!"

I was awoken by the sound of glass shattering. I heaved a sigh, realizing that it was just a dream and wiped the cold sweat off my face. Raven was nowhere in sight but there were broken shards on the floor, most probably what Raven's powers did to the lights. I got up and cleaned up the mess before the rest got home.

* * *

(Raven's POV) 

I ran into my room and locked the door before burying my face in the pillow. Some of the things in my room exploded when tears started to seep into my pillow.

What am I thinking? Beast Boy wouldn't love me, he wouldn't. he wouldn't love someone who is a heartless demon, he wouldn't love someone who couldn't even feel or laugh at his jokes. He only loves Terra so why am I so foolish to like him?

"So what if I love him? He would never love me!" I shouted and let more tears soak my pillow. My books scattered all over my room when my bookshelves splintered and broke.

Actually it's all my fault. I was the one who assumed he would accept and love me. I was the one who allowed my feelings to override my senses. I was the one who allowed and couldn't suppress my desire to feel. I was the one who tried to feel and let myself get hurt. We are opposites, how would he ever love me.

'But all of these is going to end!'

'No Raven!' my emotions shouted.

'No more. No more heartache, no more tears, no more feeling.

'Don't do it!'

'I'm sorry but it's for the best.' I whispered and closed my eyes, letting the last fall before I lock up all of my emotions.

* * *

(BB's POV) 

Finally I finished cleaning up the broken pieces. Judging from the number of lights broken, Raven must be angry at me for something but what is it? Is it because of yesterday? Is it because I probed into her matters and invaded her privacy? Is it because I hugged her to sleep? Is it because we were so close to one another and she minded the physical contact? Is it because I had hurt her feelings in some way or is it because I made her feel?

Thought played in my mind as I walked up to Raven's room to check if she is fine. I knocked on the door and called out her name. The door slid open, revealing only half of her emotionless face under her hood.

"What?" she asked in a monotone.

"I just want to check if you are alright. I mean I couldn't find you when I got up and I was worried and I thought-"

"Look, what happened yesterday was nothing." She interrupted. "I can't remember what happened yesterday so you better forget about it too."

"But Rae I…never mind."

"My name is Raven, don't call me Rae!" she glared at me with her cold violet eyes.

"Ok, or…do you want breakfast? I can prepare your tea-"

"No I am not hungry." She cut me off again. "Thank you."

"Anytime."

"Is there anything else?"

"No, I-"

"Good!" she replied and closed her door.

I walked down the stairs with my head hung low. Her eyes were cold. She locked up her emotions again and all I could see was pain. I don't even know what mistake I made to make her angry. I was also mad at her for blowing up on me for no good reason.

I sighed. No matter how hard I try, she won't love me. Who would love someone who is green, immature and insensitive? She is so clever and her dream guy must at least meet her intellect level. Raven won't even consider me as a choice, she won't love me. What's the point of loving her? She won't love back. It's just a wishful part of my thinking. Should I or should I not give her up? Should I stop thinking about her and should I forget about how much progress we had made yesterday night? She is a mystery that I have not solved since the day we met. But should I stop now and let all my efforts go down the drain? Should I or should I not?

**

* * *

A/N: I know it sucked to end a story in this way. Next chapter is a poem Beast Boy writes for Raven after this incident, so please also read my next chapter too. **

**teakigirl: ) **


	5. My First Poem

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.

Thank you to those who reviewed:

**RaeLogan**

**Frosty Pickle Juice**

**fluffy pink bunny**

**Agent of the Divine One**

**Haven Artemis Roth**

**icaughtfire12**

This is a poem which Beast Boy writes for Raven after that night they spent together. Guess the title of this poem, look closely, it's hidden inside the poem. Can't get enough of BBX Rae goodness?** If you haven got enough fluff, remember to read my other fic, NIGHTMARE cos it is continued from this story :) and it is much fluffier and better (i think so )**

**

* * *

Rising from a muddy pond,**

**As graceful as a bashful swan.**

**Voided of and thus forgone,**

**Emotions that she always longs.**

**Naïve as a newborn fawn,**

**Seeded by Trigon as a pawn.**

**Star that twinkles before dawn,**

**Oasis in a net of thorns.**

**Nectar to heal my forlorn,**

**Girl whom my heart shall belong.**

* * *

A/N: I know it isn't good cause it's my first poem, haha. Anyone knows the title of this poem, give it a try and guess. Hint: it's in the poem, just look closely and I think all of you would know cos you all are so clever. 

I'll reveal the title of this poem in the next update so you guys can take your time to guess it. Till then…

teakigirl :)


	6. Author ending note

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans

A/N: a big thank you to those who reviewed:

**icaughtfire12**

**acosta perez jose ramiro**

**Agent of the Divine One**

**Omeganian**

**Esplodin' Ookami**

**fluffy pink bunny**

Also thank you to everyone who reviewed in this fic. Yup the title of the poem is "Raven's Song". Congratulations to those who got it:

**icaughtfire12**

**Omeganian**

**fluffy pink bunny**

it's sad to say that now we would have to part, actually only with this fic. But do join me in the other stories I write, especially NIGHTMARE cos it's continued from this fic. I will miss all of you out there, hoped you guys liked this fic. Well it's time for me to go now, bye guys.

**Credits **

**Writer: teakigirl**

**Typist: teakigirl**

**Special thanks to fluffy pink bunny and Rayne( my best pal) for giving me this idea and helping me along with this story.**

**Special effects:**

**Firenze2000**

**anime-punkass-luvr **

**beautifulpurpleflame**

**deadinside72**

**Frosty Pickle Juice **

**pimpofthetitans**

**fluffy pink bunny**

**Satu-D-2**

**Agent of the Divine One**

**icaughtfire12**

**Haven Artemis Roth**

**reredrum**

**glassy eyes**

**teentitans fan**

**nonengel**

**RaeLogan**

**acosta perez jose ramiro**

**Omeganian**

**Esplodin' Ookami**

**Cos it is all of you, the reviewers who made this story so beautiful and also its success.**

**Luv all of ya out there :)**

**teakigirl **


End file.
